


hold me tight and all the way home I'll be warm

by sunchime



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ballroom Dancing, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Dancing, Dancing Lessons, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Light-Hearted, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Some Plot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but like mildly, so the angst and abuse is kept either in the background or at a minimum, there's is a fairly lighthearted fic for the sake of fluff, this is more like a oneshot series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27996138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunchime/pseuds/sunchime
Summary: Unthinkingly, Five stretched his hand out to her, palm up facing the ceiling.Vanya blinked in surprise. “What—”“Dance with me,” he blurted.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 11
Kudos: 80
Collections: Harcest Ficmas 2020





	1. Prologue: everyone's dancing merrily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG SHOUT OUT TO [@ellaphunt19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaphunt19), [@JjdoggieS](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JjdoggieS), and [@fiveyaaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas) FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS MULTI FIC!!! it started out as a tiny thing and now i guess it's gonna be a wild ride for everyone haha

“I feel like crap,” Ben whined, fingers digging into Five’s shoulder.

Five could tell just from the chill of his brother’s hand in his. He might as well be holding a glacier.

“Dad did work you pretty hard earlier,” Five said, counting their steps in his head so as not to trip Ben up. The poor guy had been barely able to stand the whole time, but dear old dad—that son of a bitch—had refused repeatedly to let him rest. It set Five’s insides on fire with indignation. 

Who the hell cared about ballroom dancing anyway? And why did it have to be a _Christmas_ party? It wasn’t like they even celebrated Christmas. 

“I hate special training,” he groaned, crumpling into the crook of Five’s shoulder. His skin felt clammy, cold sweat dripping from his forehead and smearing over his jacket. Not that Five minded. 

Adjusting his grip on Ben’s back, Five now carried the majority of their weight, doing his best to keep Ben as comfortable as he could when he was suffering severe stomach pains while trying to master the fucking box step.

From the corner of his eye, he could make out Vanya watching on with worry, fingers fumbling with the notes of her violin distractedly. 

Grace had suggested that playing along with the record would help improve her playing somehow. He wasn’t really sure what the full conversation had been, but whatever she said, it had convinced dad. So, Grace was on his good side that day.

Dad, however...That man was stepping on everyone’s toes and Five was tempted to do the same. 

Literally.

“Number Six!” 

Speak of the Devil. 

“If you are to continue slacking off, you will be forced to redo the lesson.”

Ben immediately straightened up—always trying to appease dad— gripping Five’s hand so tightly it was possible he’d lose a finger or two if he kept it up. He had a nauseous look on his face, sweat sprouting from his forehead, his skin morphing into a sickly pallor. 

Five had seen that look before.

_Uh oh._

“Um, dad? I think Ben’s gonna—”

Five jumped for a trash can before Allison could finish her sentence, returning to his brother’s side within seconds. 

It was a close call. Too close.

Ben heaved into the trash can with all he had, collapsing to the floor as Five gave him light pats on the back. 

Special training for Ben almost always ended in disaster. The eldritch beings in his stomach didn’t like being summoned so frequently in quick succession. According to Ben, their annoyance felt like a rocking ship while their anger felt like said ship was capsizing.

“Maybe Ben should go to the in-f-firmary,” Diego said.

Five rolled his eyes at that. Yeah, no kidding. “Great observation, Captain Obvious,” he sniped.

“Children!” their father barked as a warning.

“Good insult, Twinkletoes,” Diego sneered while giving Five the finger.

_That’s it—_

“I’ll take him!” Vanya shouted, hand raised in the air like she was waiting to be called on. Her eyes were frantic, bouncing from Ben to dad to Five and Diego. Always one to be the mediator if Ben was down. Which he was. Five gave his brother another gentle pat.

“Nonsense, Number Seven. What use would you be?”

Five’s eyebrows shot up. That _fucker._

Her arm fell, brought down to hug her violin to her chest.

New target acquired, Five shot a scathing glare at dad, ready to scandalize the man with his pent up frustrations. 

But his attention was turned towards Luther.

“Number One,”—Luther stood taller— “you will take Number Six to the infirmary to have Grace look after him.”

Luther nodded.

“I’ll go too!” Klaus shouted, already on his way over to Ben. 

Five scoffed. Klaus just wanted an excuse to get out of ballroom lessons.

“That’s quite unnecessary Number Four,” dad said while scowling. At this point, that must have been how his face naturally sat. Permanent disappointment. 

_Good._

“Malarkey,” Klaus waved a hand mechanically, putting on an obvious charade of nonchalance. The way his smile stretched uncomfortably on his face gave him away. He never shared with Five how his individual training usually went, but he knew it had to be pretty gruesome, always coming out of it looking shaken, pale, and husk-like. Skeletal even. 

Dad terrified Klaus. And Klaus hated him for it. The resentment in his eyes was the same thing Five saw in the mirror every morning.

Maybe his reason was something else other than an excuse.

“I’m the only one who can sooth Ben’s stomachaches. His tentacles like me.”

At least he had a point there. 

Also, _gross._

Five wrinkled his nose.

“Come on, Benny,” Klaus beamed, picking him up from the floor. “Can’t have you blocking the dance floor now can we?”

Luther was right behind him, scooping their brother into his arms. “I got you.”

Groaning, Ben clung to the trash can for dear life, hugging it to himself like a stuffed animal.

“Ugh," Diego griped, "does that mean I have to dance with Allison now?”

“Hey! You’re _lucky_ you get to dance with me. _I’m_ the one losing out,” she sniffed, raising her chin in the air.

Oh great. That meant Five had to dance with Grace or _Pogo_. He was _not_ in the mood to dance with the permanent shrug of a man (chimp?) or the android with an identity crisis. 

Actually, he was very much happy with his first choice. Of the options One through Six, Five had chosen Ben because of course he did. Vanya wasn’t an option so the only suitable choice was Number Six. All the others were incompetent, a total nuisance, or a combination of the two.

And a Total Nuisance and Incompetent were arguing with each other as if their overbearing father wasn’t in the room. Which was usually a great way of getting their asses handed to them in less than two minutes flat.

“Numbers Two and Three—” 

Yep. There it was.

Five had gotten good at tuning out dad’s lectures, learning to nod at the right times, keep a steadily blank face for most of it. All that jazz. 

But today, Five was feeling pissy, so he looked to Vanya instead. The lecture wasn’t even directed at him anyway.

Vanya was still hugging her violin, ducking her eyes behind her bangs in the way that she did when she was hurt. If it wasn’t for dad, Five would have been brushing it away from her face already.

Shit, why couldn’t he just dance with Vanya? She was standing right there. Besides, she already had the song memorized and there was no point in having her keep playing if she could be an option.

Obviously, he wouldn’t voice that outright. He’d hate to give dad any ideas. Make even one suggestion that Vanya’s mere presence was useless or a distraction, and he’d have her shoved into the corner of the farthest room on the highest floor in the house—like she was fucking Rapunzel or something.

“—eeing as Pogo has other matters to attend to and that—”

If only Vanya would look up again. He could make her smile then.

“—care of Number Six—”

Maybe he could cough.

“—erefore, Number Seven—”

Wait.

“—et aside your violin to—” 

Five’s head whipped back to attention.

“—join Number Five.”

Vanya’s eyes jumped to Five, disbelief coloring her expression. He couldn’t blame her as he was feeling that exact same way.

It was almost too good to be true. Dad would never be this kind. 

“On with it, Number Seven. We haven’t got all day. The Christmas function is in a matter of one week.”

Ah. He was pressed for time.

“You children have yet to master a simple waltz. What am I to do if the patrons cannot receive one dance from you lot?”

Vanya quickly placed her violin and bow on the stand beside her, careful not to let it fall and anger dad any further. When she was satisfied with its placement, she turned to Five, eyes wide with amazement.

Smiling, Five shrugged and beckoned her over with an offered hand. He wasn’t one to say no to a situation in his favor. And Vanya—even as she shyly placed her hand in his—wouldn’t refuse it either.

“Number Five, you have three minutes to show her the steps. You had better be ready,” he said while examining his pocket watch. “There’s still the natural rotation and closed change to learn.”

Whatever _that_ meant.

Scoffing, Diego said, “At least we don’t have to hear her screeching anymore.”

_Bitch!_

Allison hid a snicker behind her hand.

_Ass._

It was moments like these that made Five wish he had powers that were more on the offensive side. His glare was just not cutting it anymore. 

He tensed, grip tightening around Vanya’s as he forced himself to stay still. Those assholes always targeted her, easy prey and all when dad never fucking once showed her an ounce of approval. 

“Five,” Vanya whispered as a warning. Her hand clenched at his, nails digging into the skin. 

Five shot Diego a withering glare before aiming it at Allison. Of course they were hardly fazed by it, but he’d get his revenge eventually.

“It’s fine, Five.” Peeking out from behind her bangs, Vanya gave him a small smile. Her false bravado wouldn't fool him though. It was obvious how much her violin meant to her. There was no way those words hadn’t cut her.

“But it’s _not,”_ he growled.

“Two minutes, children.”

Turning back to her, Five insisted, “We’re talking about this later.”

Nodding vaguely, Vanya’s gaze flickered to the floor before settling on him again. “You should probably teach me now.”

Five frowned.

She deflected.

“I have no idea what to do,” she carried on, fumbling with where to place her other hand. “Sorry.” 

Her cheeks turned a bright red as she lowered her head to the floor. Five hated that, the way she constantly apologized and avoided him when dad or the others tore her down. 

Sighing, Five decided to go along with it. 

“Here.” He settled her hand on his shoulder before reaching under to rest his on her back. “Just rest your arm on mine, but keep your elbow up.”

Vanya nodded. 

“And when I step forward, you step back with the opposite leg.” 

It was almost embarrassing how closely Vanya observed their feet. She was so close to him, forehead nearly resting on his chest. He was certain she could feel his heart leaping out and practically punching her in the face.

God, were his ears turning red? 

Five repeated the steps several more times to make sure Vanya had somewhat of a handle on them. There were a couple close calls where they nearly stepped on the other and Vanya would whisper apologies under her breath, but for the most part they kept up a steady tempo. 

If only she’d look up at him so he could reassure her. 

“Time’s up,” dad cut in. “Now you will apply what you’ve learned to the music. This will be the first song of the night so it _must_ be perfected.”

With a faint scratch of the needle, the record began to play a classical waltz.

Vanya still wouldn’t look up, eyes permanently glued to the floor and head hanging heavily like she was ashamed. For some reason, that habit was starting to annoy Five more than usual today. He wanted to meet her eyes, to let her know she was doing great. It wasn’t like any of their other siblings could do any better. They had only just learned it recently after all.

Five cleared his throat. “You have to keep your head up, Vanya.”

She stiffened in his arms. “...But how will I know the steps?”

Five took a step forward and Vanya easily moved with him. 

Side step, close, step back, side step, close again. 

It felt obvious she knew what she was doing, following him seamlessly. They were in sync, picking up on the other’s unsaid signals.

“You just feel it.”

Momentarily—a split second—her grip relaxed in his and it seemed like she would finally look up again. But once beaten, it was hard for Vanya to come back out from her wall. She doubled down and let her head hang between them, fist clutching at the material of his jacket.

“I’ll mess it up.”

Dammit, would she stop fighting him already? 

_“Look_ at me, Vanya,” he pleaded. “You’re safe with me.”

Vanya looked up at him then, her expression soft in a way he’d never seen before. It was hard to place what she was feeling, eyes round but guarded.

“Don’t worry, I won’t trip you.” 

A worried expression took over. “It’s not that. I...I just don’t want to step on your toes,” she finally mumbled.

Five rolled his eyes. “You won’t,” he said it so matter-of-factly, he hoped it was enough to wipe all the doubt from her mind. "You _won't."_


	2. Age 13: the prettiest sight to see

The party was a drag that went on far longer than it should have, much like the majority of its wealthy attendees. 

Thanks to dad, Five had to dance with a stranger that looked closer to the grave than a newborn looked closer to the womb. Her breath had smelled like a mix of Hell and peppermint which had left Five baffled that such a combination could be achieved but unable to ask how she managed it without being exposed to the scent all over again.

Also, dad would kill him if he had been rude to the guest.

“You are to select one of these important guests for the first dance. Do  _ not _ fight over one of them, divide and conquer,” Five mocked, pretending to punch dad in the face.

Annoyed that an entire night had been wasted, he ripped off his suit jacket, tossing it onto the floor before kicking it under his bed. Next came his vest, tie, belt, mask, all of it. In the back of his mind, Five wondered if dad had a special talent specifically for finding the most uncomfortable suits.

Well, it didn’t matter much anyway. They all had an extra hour to themselves for having done the job better than dad’s expectations. When the last guest had left the mansion, he had simply looked over them with a stoney face and dismissed them for the rest of the night.

It was Pogo who had told them the night had been a success.

Five rolled his eyes as he slipped on the Umbrella Academy branded pajamas. Of course dad could never let them know when he was pleased with their performance. If he showed them even an iota of approval, the man would combust on the spot. 

Once his feet were thoroughly shoved into his slippers, Five made quick work jumping to Vanya’s room.

“Five!” 

And there she was curled up in her bed, tucked under her blanket with a book resting on her knees. Although she tried to hide it, Five could see that the rims of her eyes were red and puffing slightly.

Five scowled. He hated how dad had refused to let her attend. 

“Hey, Vanya,” he greeted.

After the first lesson when the old man had let Vanya take Ben’s place, Five had been practicing with her in private, away from all the cameras and their siblings. It was the most he had ever seen her laugh in a single week and for some reason, Five couldn’t stop thinking about it. Without meaning to, his eyes would follow her, drawn to her like magnets. 

“How was the party?” She asked shyly, brushing a bit of hair over her shoulder and running her fingers through it. A nervous habit of hers. Five had seen her do it a thousand times when she didn’t want to look Allison in the eye. 

It made him frown harder.

“Stupid.”

Her lips twitched at that. “How so?”

Five planted himself hard on the edge of her bed, making the mattress bounce and knocking the book from Vanya’s lap. 

“I basically danced with the grim reaper. Did you know that she’s a woman?”

She gasped, gaze jumping to him.  _ “Five.” _

Inwardly, he smiled.

“And she had dragon breath,” he added, wrinkling his nose as the memory of it assaulted him. “Wouldn’t stop getting her gross old lady lotion all over my suit too.”

Vanya’s hand shot up to cover her mouth as she held back a laugh. “You can’t just say things like that.”

_ That’s better. _

Five rolled his eyes. “I’ll say what I want.”

“But it’s rude,” she laughed.

It was captivating the way Vanya let her guard down when she laughed. Like all the walls she put up to protect herself fell so swiftly and effortlessly. Her smile was wide and open and her eyes crinkled at the corners with mirth. 

He wished he could see more of it.

Unthinkingly, Five stretched his hand out to her, palm up facing the ceiling.

Vanya blinked in surprise. “What—”

“Dance with me,” he blurted.

_ Shit. _

He didn’t know that  _ that _ ’s what was going to come out of his mouth.

Wide eyes stared back at him, but at least they were  _ looking. Seeing him. Finally. _

Fumbling awkwardly with his hand, she asked,  _ “Here?”  _

Good point. Her room was basically a walk-in closet.

Making sure he had a firm grip of her hand, Five quickly snuck them to one of the empty spare bedrooms they had practiced in previously, closing the door behind them with a dull thud.

“Here, actually,” he rectified.

Five had no idea how they were going to dance seriously without music, but he wouldn’t let that dissuade him. They had practiced plenty by simply counting out the steps, how hard would it be to do that again?

A tiny sigh greeted his ears when he placed his hand on Vanya’s back. “What?” he asked, ears pinking for no reason.

“You didn’t have to do this for me, Five,” she replied with a soft but sad smile. It was a little one, where the corners of her mouth barely pulled up and didn’t reach her eyes. 

It irked him. 

He hated that smile. It was the one she gave everyone else.

“No, I didn’t have to,” he said, jerking her close when he grabbed for her hand. 

Her face fell. Five cursed at himself.

“I didn’t  _ have _ to,” he continued, “but I  _ wanted _ to. It was shitty of dad for not letting you come.”

_ There we go. _

One of Vanya’s genuine smiles shined up at him, her gaze unwavering as she peeked up at him from her bangs. He wanted to see more of that, an unapologetic Vanya. Not giving it much thought, Five brushed the hair behind her ears, careful so as not to accidentally poke her in the eye.

A silent squeak popped out of her before she furiously buried her face into his chest.

“V-Vanya?” 

Instead of answering him, she began the dance, taking the lead. Not that Five minded. He was still dancing with her after all. Quietly, he started counting out loud for want of something to do. They stayed like this for several moments, Vanya leading and Five following right behind her, spinning and spinning around in the empty room. Her cheek was warm against his chest, her hair tickling his chin all the while. 

It was comfortable, the almost quiet they allowed themselves. The pitter patter of their feet as they performed several iterations of the box step and turns, the sound of their breathing, Five’s voice as it blended into their whitenoise. It was almost hypnotic. Soothing.

A sudden squeeze of his hand alerted him though, interrupting him from his thoughts. “Hey, Five?” Vanya’s voice was tiny—only slightly above a whisper—in a way that made him want to listen. Abruptly, he cut himself off.

“Yeah?”

Carefully, she lifted her head from his chest to offer him a gentle expression. 

“Thanks.”

Her cheeks were a bright red that Five couldn’t look away from. They looked so soft and colorful, like the special marshmallows Grace would buy when they were on sale. A compulsive thought took over his mind, telling him to touch her, to rest his hand on her cheek and cradle it.

For some reason, his palms suddenly felt sweaty and his heart began to trip over itself. 

_ Did the room get warmer? _

Clearing his throat, he offered a small “No problem.” He hoped it wasn’t too obvious when his voice fucking cracked just then.

Vanya grinned at him. 

Five couldn’t help but grin back, taking in the way the red in her eyes had faded, replaced now with sparkles that glittered in the brown of her irises. 

Jesus, how could one person be so pretty?

Wait.

_ Where did that come from?! _

Shaking his head, he decided to tell her something he had meant to save for a rainy day. “I may or may not have tripped Diego into the punch bowl tonight,” he said.

“No!” she gasped. 

“I did,” he confirmed, nodding. 

“He must be so angry with you,” she laughed, pressing her forehead into his chest. 

Five held his breath, demanding his heart to chill the hell out so Vanya wouldn’t hear it.

“You should have seen the look on his face. The whole bowl fell over—punch went everywhere— and he looked like he was wearing it as a hat.”

Vanya smacked him on the arm. “He’s going to murder you in your sleep tonight!”

Like he’d let him.

“Worth it,” Five smirked.

It had been a hilarious sight: Diego on the floor covered in sticky punch that stained his suit and the bowl hanging on his head like Luther’s astronaut's helmet. If only he hadn’t been wearing the domino mask, Five might have been able to see the realization then dawning fury in his eyes.

“And besides,” he continued, “Diego was being a bigger asshole than usual.”

Vanya’s hand curled on his shoulder, pinching the cloth there. It was a long while before she finally said anything. “He was right though,” she murmured into his shirt.

Five frowned.

“Vanya,  _ no.” _

“Vanya, yes,” she mocked.

Five stopped dancing—annoyed that she thought so little of her playing, annoyed that she kept putting herself down, annoyed with their entire family for treating her like she was worth less than nothing—and caused Vanya to collide into him. 

Ignoring the pain of her chin jabbing him in the sternum, he grasped her shoulders so she’d know he was serious. “Diego’s a shit,” he began, shaking her just a little. “He only says mean things  _ because _ he’s a shit.”

Vanya sulked, gaze dropping to his neck instead of looking him in the eye. Fed up with all the avoidance, Five made for her chin, using his thumb to point it up at him so she couldn’t run away anymore. “You’re insanely talented,” he continued, making sure to look her in the eye as he said it. “You only started this year, Vanya, and you’re already leagues ahead of most beginners.”

“But—”

“Vanya, we’re  _ thirteen. _ Most people start when they’re infants.”

Vanya huffed and rolled her eyes at him.

It was an exaggeration, but it got a reaction out of her.

Five pressed on. “Diego’s just jealous. He picked up bass when we were ten and he still sucks!”

A tiny grin rewarded him.

“And Allison only goes along with it because she’s not getting as much attention as she used to. You know, now that mom watches over your practices occasionally.”

Vanya breathed out a quiet laugh at that, eyes flickering down momentarily before looking up at him again. Her face was a light pink now and her eyes looked shinier than they had a moment ago. “Five,” she started, voice wobbly.

Oh.

_ Oh no. _

He hadn’t meant to make her  _ sad. _

“Wait—” Frantically, he started brushing her bangs out of her face. “Don’t cry on me, Vanya.” Not knowing what else to do, he brought her in for a tight hug. “I’m sorry if I said too much.”

He was going to keep her there until she forgave him. They still had twenty minutes left, there was plenty of time. It was never his intention to hurt her. Especially not on a night when she had already been bruised by their dad’s apathy and their siblings’ ego. “I meant every word of it though,” he continued, running a hand down her hair. 

A watery giggle fell out of her when she circled her arms around him, small hands clutching at the material of his shirt. “I’m not  _ upset.” _

She wasn’t?

“You’re not?”

“No,” she assured, pulling away from him. Tears were slipping down her face, delicate drops that reminded him of dew in the spring. For some reason, Five wanted to wipe them away. But he didn’t have a tissue on him and he left his handkerchief in his suit. “I’m just—I—” she bit her lip, gaze shifting to the floor as she considered what she wanted to say. “Thank you,” she finished with a shrug.

Five swallowed.

“I—Yeah. You’re welcome,” he fumbled out.

Vanya smiled at him—God, she had been smiling so much recently—before taking his hand. 

“We should probably head back now.”

Dumbly, Five nodded. “Yeah.”

The entire trip back, Five couldn’t stop watching Vanya as she led them down the halls, her long hair swaying with every step. Her back was so small, just like the hand that held his. 

No matter how much he demanded his body to listen, it just wouldn’t. His face stayed a stubborn pink while his heart continued to pump rapidly and his hands remained so fucking sweaty. Shit, she could probably _ tell.  _ Five wished he could snatch his hand away to wipe it off but he didn’t want her to think it was her fault that he drew away. 

_ Dammit. _

When they reached her room, they quietly stepped in together. Five shut the door behind him, letting himself have this moment to recover his dignity. Meanwhile, Vanya had let go of his hand. The movement made his heart drop but he couldn’t figure out why.

He took a deep breath. 

In.

Out.

Composure regained, Five turned to face her, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his pajama bottoms. Vanya peered back at him shyly, hands clasped behind her back.

“See you at breakfast tomorrow?”

Five wanted to kick himself. What a stupid fucking question.

_ Of course she will, dumbass! You live in the same house. _

He cleared his throat. 

Vanya, like the angel she was, simply smiled at him. “See you then,” she agreed.

Thoroughly mortified, Five blinked up to his room where he proceeded to bury his head into his pillow. For the rest of the night, he couldn’t stop seeing images of Vanya smiling in his dreams as they spun around together like planets orbiting the sun, her laughter playing on a loop like a melody from her violin.

Next year for sure, he decided the following morning at breakfast—where he very much avoided her gaze—he was going to get Vanya into the party. 

Definitely.


	3. Age 14: hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near

Five rolled his eyes hard into the back of his skull, grateful that dad had forced them to continue with wearing their domino masks (despite it not being “on theme”). Of course since last year was such a big success, he had decided that the next party had to be even bigger, even better.

If public indecency wasn’t an issue, Five would have ripped his clothes off right then and there.

An elf costume? _Really?_

Five sucked down another glass of punch, throwing his head back to help keep it down. If only Klaus really had spiked it like he said he was going to. They needed all the help in the world, he and his siblings.

From across the room, dad stood out in his bright red suit, tailored to perfection. It was meant to be a nod to Santa, but Five liked to think of it being closer to the devil. All he had to do was replace the hat with some horns and call it a day.

Naturally, Luther followed in dad’s footsteps. Except he actually went for it and dressed in the beard and costume, even going as far as to shove a pillow into his coat. Five rolled his eyes again, taking in how much like a stupid puppy he looked standing next to dad.

As for the others, they couldn’t escape their fates either. Allison, despite her desperate embellishments, still looked just as sad an elf as the others. As she chatted up the attendees, she’d go to great lengths to make sure they knew her shorts had been altered into a skirt, twirling like a maniac with a professional smile plastered in place.

Five scoffed against the brim of his glass before switching his attention. 

Diego had torn holes in his tights and his hat sat crooked on his head, off to the side in an attempt to look “cooler than all you lame nerds.” His smile looked more forced than Allison’s when he had to keep adjusting the hat back in place because the adults kept trying to fix it. 

“What an idiot,” Five snarked. 

Ben, who was standing beside him trying to eat another one of the overly iced, sickeningly sweet cookies, nodded glumly.

“Lost cause,” he agreed around a mouthful of sweets.

They were standing together to guard the food table (from Klaus of course) under Pogo’s orders. Them specifically because they were the only two that matched. Five and Ben had simply taken their costumes with grim acceptance, wearing the damn shorts and striped tights with tired sighs. Not to mention the stupid, fucking _bells_ on their hat and shoes. What a dumb way to keep track of them.

Mood instantly soured at that reminder, Five took another swig of his punch. 

If they had tried fighting it, however, they would have ended up in something much, _much_ worse.

Klaus seemed unbothered by it though, prancing around the room and schmoozing with the guests. What Five liked about Klaus was that he never played their games, always finding ways to fool or make fools of the damn patrons that wouldn’t stop fawning over them. Even in his ridiculous Rudolph costume, Klaus still managed to be the one on top in his conversations. 

Five shuddered looking at the red clown nose planted in the middle of his face. If Vanya ever saw him in that he would simply cease to exist. It didn’t help that she had already seen him partially dressed in the elf costume. Jesus, if she had seen the full ensemble, Five would have changed his name to Chester Konstantopoulos and moved to some obscure country in Europe. 

For that reason and that alone, he hadn’t tried sneaking Vanya into the party this year. 

It was already impossible to wipe the memory of her laughter from his mind. The way her hand had shot up to cover it, how wide her eyes got when she realized what she had done, how she had raced down the hall to retreat into her bedroom after throwing out a frantic apology (that, quite frankly, didn’t sound that sorry at _all_ ). 

That couldn’t be her last memory of him for the night. He _refused._

Five slammed his glass down onto the table.

“I have to get out of here,” he told Ben through clenched teeth.

“But you can’t,” he offered very helpfully. “Dad’s got us belled like cats.”

_Fuck dad._

Faster than he’d ever gone before, Five snapped the bells off his costume and tossed them carelessly into the punch. “I need you to make a diversion.”

Sighing, Ben set down his half eaten cupcake onto the table. “You better tell Vanya how you feel tonight.”

_What?_

“Huh?” 

_How I feel?_

Ben gave him a long, judging look that made something—deep, deep inside—feel ashamed for a split second before the ugly monster of indignation promptly showed its head instead because Five had nothing to be ashamed about thank you very much, _Ben._

“I don’t _have_ feelings for her!”

It was impossible to tell behind the mask, but Five knew Ben was rolling his eyes. “Whatever you say.”

“Listen—”

But before he could further protest, Ben was already calling for Klaus. 

“Hey, Séance!” he called, beckoning him over with a hand.

Five scowled and crossed his arms. Just this one time he’d let it go because Ben was helping him. But he absolutely did _not_ have feelings for Vanya! He only liked hanging out with her because she was the only he could tolerate for long periods of time. Not to mention she was his best friend. And besides, she was smart, nice, and she wasn’t annoying like the others.

“How can I help you fine gentlemen?” Klaus greeted with a shiteating grin. 

A wall of stench slammed into Five’s face.

“Did you fucking smoke again?” he said through a cough, swatting at the air in front of his nose.

“Calm down mein bruder, it was only a couple puffs.” For emphasis, he pulled back the hood of his costume to show an unsmoked blunt tucked behind his ear. “See? We’re all good here.”

They were, in fact, not all good here. Five needed to get out of there with every passing second, unsure of how much more he could take. What with the devil breathing down his back, his siblings’ desperate attempts for positive attention, and these godawful, fugly, humiliating, pieces of shit costumes, Five was mere seconds away from pushing over the fake Christmas tree and making the diversion himself.

Dragging a hand over his face, Ben looked towards the ceiling. “Why me?” he asked it. 

Five doubted it would give him much of an answer, but gave him a small pat on the shoulder in solidarity.

“We need a distraction,” Ben explained after a long, drawn out sigh.

“Oh,” Klaus cooed, interest piqued. “Pray tell, whatever for?”

“Five’s gonna make a run for it.”

Klaus turned to him with an annoying knowing smirk. “Are those wedding bells I hear upstairs?”

_Fucker!_

“The only bells you’re hearing are ours,” Ben cut in before Five could retort. “Now, will you help us or not?”

“What do I get in return for my services?”

Looking around for something to offer, Ben quickly scooped up a glass of punch before handing it over. “I’ll let you spike the punch.”

If it weren’t for the mask, Five was certain he’d see tears in Klaus’s eyes. He was grinning so much like an idiot. “Finally! I knew you’d see reason eventually, Benny boy,” he beamed before chugging down the drink.

Five had never felt so grateful for a moment of silence. 

A cough.

Then another.

_Huh._

Klaus grabbed for his throat, fingers digging into it before abruptly punching himself in the stomach. 

The overwhelming feeling of wanting to punch his brother (and doing so plenty of times) had overcome Five many times before, but he couldn’t understand the sudden interest now. And why Klaus was the one doing it to himself.

“Shit,” Ben cursed beside him.

Turning, Five saw now what he was looking at. 

The punch bowl.

Specifically what was _in_ the punch bowl.

Two bells bobbed harmlessly in the red sugary drink.

 _“Fuck,”_ Five swore.

Ben frantically spun back to Klaus, hands clawing at his hair. _“Do you remember how to do the heimlich maneuver?!”_

 _Fucking shit. Holy fucking_ shit.

“I don’t know, _maybe?”_

Klaus was the designated medic. Everyone else simply had a couple lessons before moving on to fighting and those had been _years_ ago.

“Dammit! Hey, Lu—Spaceboy!” Ben cried, sprinting through the party guests as he made his way over.

Oh God, he couldn't let dad see the evidence. Snatching the bells out of the bowl, he quickly threw them into the Christmas tree tucked in the corner before turning back to Klaus who was starting to turn into an ugly shade of red.

Meanwhile, the party goers seemed to have gotten word of what was happening and simply watched like gaping fish as Five scrambled for something to do. 

Those useless pieces of shit!

In a desperate attempt to not let his brother die, Five clumsily wrapped his arms around his middle. “Like this right?” 

Klaus just choked in response which was good enough for Five. He pumped at his rib cage uselessly.

Nothing happened.

“Klaus, I could really use your help here,” Five grunted. He tried again, placing his hands in a different spot and hoping that would work.

“I got this, Warp,” came a voice from behind him.

_Oh thank God._

“He’s all yours.” 

Five offered him up without complaint, thrusting Klaus into Luther's arms before throwing his hands in the air and taking a step back. Ben and Diego came up beside him, watching the scene unfold as dad gave orders to Luther.

“Just like that,” he coached. “Yes. Now in and up.”

When this was all over, dad was definitely going to kill them. He’d find a way of getting away with it, say it was some sort of freak accident. An alien invasion. Sudden human combustion. The plague. Whatever excuse worked. All were valid in his mind since the Umbrella Academy managed to singlehandedly ruin his stupid Christmas party.

“Think he’s g-gonna die?”

“God, don’t be so morbid,” Ben chastised as his face slowly grew pale.

“It was b-bound to happen eventually,” he shrugged, putting up an air of indifference. “I’m just surprised it was b-because of the punch.”

Five rolled his eyes. The act wasn’t fooling anyone. 

But he couldn’t help but throw in an insult anyway. “Don’t be a dick, Kraken.”

“At l-least I have one, Warp.”

“Congratulations,” he replied flatly.

Finally, with one last pump, Luther managed to dislodge the bell from Klaus’s throat. With a tiny _tink_ the bell hit the wall as a hush fell over the room. Then, slowly from behind him, the useless peanut gallery began to cheer, applauding like the whole thing had been a damn performance.

While Klaus continued hacking his lungs out, Luther raised a hand shyly as dad watched on with his chin raised high. Klaus was making quite the show of it, slapping his chest as he got the final few coughs out. Unfortunately for Luther however, Klaus and his theatrics bumped into the unsuspecting hero-of-the-night which in turn made him bump into dad who then knocked over the Christmas tree.

The Christmas tree, which—did he forget to mention?—was traditionally lit with traditional candles with traditionally real fire that traditionally tended to set things on fire when given the chance.

Like now for instance.

Several swears rang throughout the room. The applause died instantly at the sight of flames licking the walls.

If they weren’t dead before, they were fucking dead now. Literally. Probably. All because dad was a pretentious bastard who loved the aesthetic of a well functioning, prestigious family and not the actual act of being one. 

Now was a good as time as any to make an escape. If they were all dead by morning, Five might as well get in his last request and visit Vanya for the night before disappearing under mysterious circumstances come sunrise.

Besides, dad was fine. Luther had fished him from out of the wreckage of the tree. And Ben was off getting the fire extinguisher while Diego and Allison were working on crowd control.

Dad wasn’t even watching him anymore.

With one final look around the room, Five caught Klaus’s eye. He gave him a weird smirk as he tilted his head into his shoulder like he had a bad twitch, making the antlers on his hood flop over.

“What’re you doing?”

“I’m winking.”

“We’re wearing masks, dumbass.”

“Oh, go marry your girlfriend already,” Klaus said with a scowl and a wave of his hand.

Shooting him a middle finger, Five made for the exit.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He marched straight for the archway, formulating a plan along the way. If he went to his room first to change then grab Vanya and make a beeline for the roof, they’d likely miss most of the commotion. And if they stayed up there long enough, maybe even dad’s punishments.

_Yeah right._

Five was only a few steps away from the crowd, powers tingling on the tips of his fingers when Ben came back with good news. 

“I got the fire extinguisher!”

_Good job, Ben._

“Oh, allow me!”

_Fuck._

“Wait—Séance!! Don’t throw it into the—”

A loud _hiss_ overwhelmed the room before a heavy silence.

The sound of flames continued to whip in the air. 

Well, with that unfortunate news Five only hastened his steps, practically shoving his way through the stragglers of the crowd. It would forever baffle him how dad had forbade them from using their powers at the party. He already paraded them around like show ponies, one would think that having them demonstrate their powers in front of guests wouldn’t be too big a stretch. 

Whatever. 

It didn’t matter anymore. In a matter of seconds, he was out the door blinking to his room, fingers searching for the zipper. 

He couldn’t find it fast enough.

_Fuck it._

With a clear tearing sound, Five freed himself of his sickeningly themed, obnoxiously colored, and grotesquely itchy prison. For good measure, he took extra care to rip along the seams, converting it into a different kind of mangled mess. And when he was done with that, he hurled it out the window where it slammed into the neighboring brick wall and fell onto the wet asphalt to hibernate there for the rest of winter.

Then, so as not to scare off Vanya, he got dressed, throwing on his coat and scarf over his uniform in order to avoid freezing his ass off when he _finally_ got them to the damn roof.

* * *

Vanya stood by her door with her ear pressed flat against it, eyes widening when she noticed Five watching her.

“I was just—I heard noises so I—”

“House’s on fire.”

“—was trying to— _What?!”_

It wasn’t that big of a deal, Five thought. It wasn’t like the old man would let his house burn down, not when it had all his treasures and awards and memorabilia that proved just how great he was. Not to mention that cryptic journal of his.

Oh, right. 

And his kids.

Not that they _mattered_ of course.

Except for the fact that they were the Umbrella Academy, so he may reluctantly not let them burn to death.

Unless the house _did_ burn down tonight and he _did_ go through with killing them after the guests left.

Either way, the house being on fire wasn’t an important matter. Instead, Five simply pulled out Vanya’s winter coat from her dresser drawer and tossed it at her.

“Wha—Five you can’t just say something like that and not _explain it,”_ she complained while shoving her arms through the sleeves.

“Klaus choked,” he began the explanation, now on the hunt for her scarf.

_“How—”_

“Luther tripped dad.” It wasn’t anywhere in her dresser.

“He did _what—”_

“Christmas tree fell over.” Not under her bed, either.

“Oh my God—”

“Boom,” Five concluded, miming an explosion with his hands.

 _Ah._

There it was. Five snatched it from the hook on the back of Vanya’s door, brushing her aside to reach it.

“Please tell me Ben or Pogo did something?” She asked with an exasperated look.

_Oh yeah._

“Klaus threw the fire extinguisher into the fire.” Quickly, while she was distracted, Five wound the scarf around her neck.

Never in his life had Five seen such a pained expression on Vanya’s face. She looked about ready to rip her hair out if not rip the door off its hinges to put out the fire herself.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he offered, settling a hand on her arm to prevent her from doing either.

“We’re so dead,” she groaned.

_Definitely._

Five nodded. “So let’s enjoy the rest of our lives while we still can.”

Sighing, Vanya took his offered hand. 

With only a little strain, Five managed to zap them up a couple floors. 

Vanya’s fingers curled tightly around his own as she regained her breath, her other hand clutching at her heaving chest. “That’s gonna take a lot of getting used to,” she gasped.

“You’ll get there,” he encouraged her with a swipe of his thumb over her knuckles. 

It was an odd feeling, the sensation of teleporting. It was like being squeezed so tightly that your lungs would collapse in on themselves just to suddenly turn inside out at the end. The way electricity pinched you into a single cell, an entire life’s worth of memories crumpled and crammed through a keyhole, only to come out fully formed yet feeling like a whole new body.

It was something Five had known his whole life. But apparently, now that he’d learned how to take others with him, it was something that would take much longer to warm up to than he had expected.

His lungs strained against his ribs as he tried to hide his panting. He couldn’t let Vanya see him like that, exhausted from one jump. That was too embarrassing! 

Not wanting to admit he was a little breathless himself—or that his legs felt like one of Grace’s jello casseroles—Five tried for a casual apology. “Sorry I could only take us this far.” 

If he could muster up the energy for one more jump, he was sure they’d reach the roof just fine and without having to take another five flights of stairs.

“I’ll give you another minute and then we can—”

Vanya raised her hand up to stop him.

“No.”

_What? Why not?_

“It’s quicker this way,” he explained, pulling her close to him to prepare for another jump. Without a thought, his hand rested on her hip while the other held hers to his chest. “Believe me, this is bett—”

Up close, he could see a light dusting of pink on her cheeks. The trip must have taken more out of her than he had expected. A sudden image of Klaus’s ugly, gross, red face flashed in his mind, making him hesitate.

Maybe he should let her rest a little longer.

However, before he could decide that himself, Vanya silently pushed herself away from him, hands resting on his chest while she took another deep breath. 

For some reason his stomach fell, a weird sinking feeling settling in his gut.

“Vanya?”

When she looked up at him again, her whole face was painted a bright red, scarlet ears peeking out from her hair.

_Holy shit._

He almost killed her.

“Do you need water? I’ll grab some real quick. _Shit_ —Ice too?”

“Five.”

Jesus, he couldn’t believe he had almost killed two of his siblings in one night. This had to be a new record. 

_“Five!”_

If dad couldn’t finish the job, Five would do just as well. Tell him who and when and he’ll find a way to accidentally get them killed. All it took was a little carelessness and _bam,_ one number down, only six more to go.

Two hands clamped hard against his cheeks, pinching his mouth into a pucker. Vanya’s determined brown eyes stared at him hard.

But her face was still fucking crimson.

“ _Please_ let me get you some water,” Five begged. 

Her lips quirked at that, corners lifting into an unwilling smile. Then, a giggle slipped out. 

Huh?

“I’ve never heard you say ‘please’ before,” she admitted, teeth pressing into her lower lip as she held back another giggle.

Five’s brain struggled to keep up, synapses trying and failing to send signals in his mind to make sense of the situation. His eyes jumped from her eyes to her lips to her cheeks, flickering all across her face in an attempt to understand her.

“Why’re you laughing? You almost _died.”_

At that, Vanya burst out into full-blown laughter, hands grasping her stomach. “Wha-what?! Five— _no!”_

_What the hell?_

Five frowned hard, trying to wrap his mind around it all. “I could have _killed_ you, Vanya,” he tried again. Maybe she hadn’t understood him. 

“Y-Your face—” she gasped.

Five crossed his arms, ears pinking. Clearly she wasn’t taking this _seriously._

“I-I’m— _ha!_ —fine,” she claimed. “Really.”

When she nearly fell over and had to lean onto the wall to stay upright, Five couldn’t fight back the smile tugging on his own lips. She looked ridiculous, almost collapsed on the floor with her hair messily falling out of her scarf.

He hadn’t seen her so openly happy in such a long time. It made his heart thunder in his chest. _God,_ her smile was so pretty.

With a good-natured roll of his eyes, Five placed his hand on her elbow. “Come on,” he said, “Lets just take the stairs.”

Nodding, Vanya followed after him, reaching out to hold onto his hand. “Let’s stay up the whole night,” she whispered excitedly, like they were breaking the rules. Which they were. 

Absolutely, Five thought.

“Sure,” he said instead, eagerly accepting her hand in his.

* * *

Five didn’t often toot his own horn, but he was pretty proud of himself for managing to smuggle the record player onto the roof without detection. The ballroom hadn’t been touched since their lessons from earlier in the month and when it was time for the party, Reggie had used a live orchestra. 

Of course Vanya hadn’t been invited to play because that would have been too nice a gesture for dear old dad.

Someday, Five would find a way to get back at him.

For now though, he simply opened the door for Vanya, waiting hungrily for her reaction.

She had only made it a couple steps out the door when she stilled. 

His brows furrowed. 

_Why’s she just standing there?_

“Vanya?”

Her back was turned to him, but he was certain she could see the Christmas lights he’d strung up all along the roof. Hell, Five could see them from where he was standing and he was practically tucked behind the door.

Maybe she didn’t like the color? Shit, he knew he should have gone for the rainbow ones. Now the whole damn thing was ruined. 

Vanya didn’t like it!

“Look,” he started, “I know it’s not a lot, but it’s—”

“It’s _amazing,”_ she breathed.

Oh.

Well.

That was good.

Five felt his ears heat up despite the bite of the cold air. “T-that’s good,” he chewed out, kicking himself all the while for yet _another_ voice crack.

Jesus, could puberty speed it up already?

Vanya took a step forward, running her hand along a string of lights as she made her away down the line. Her eyes were sparkling with the reflections, spots of yellow and white flickering brightly. She turned to him with a disbelieving look. 

“How’d you do all this?”

Five was frozen.

A warm glow surrounded her, coating her in shades of yellows and oranges. Her hair looked almost _fiery_ next to the lights.

He swallowed audibly.

All the explanations he’d practice flew out the window. He could barely remember how to put together a couple words, let alone an entire speech about how he had stolen some money from dad’s safe and purchased the lights when he and Pogo had been away on a business trip. And he had wanted so badly to see the laughter in her eyes when he told it all to her.

What came out instead was, “You’ll like this too.”

Without thinking, he blinked over to the record player he’d hidden in the greenhouse and hastily carried it up just in front of the glass door. It had taken him several weeks to pick out which records Vanya would like. He knew which composers she preferred and what periods were her favorites, but he’d been worried about being able to waltz to them. He didn’t know much about musical theory, but he knew at least that waltzes had to be danced to songs in three-four time. 

Whatever that meant. (He may or may not have had to subtly prod Vanya for answers.)

Carefully, he lifted the needle and placed it on the record he had put down earlier. Tinkling piano notes filled the quiet of the winter night as Vanya watched on with her mouth open in a gasp.

“Sweet dreams?” she whispered.

Five grinned. He knew she would like Tchaikovsky.

Offering a hand, Five said, “Care to dance?”

Vanya smiled widely at him before doing a little curtsy, fingers pinching whatever little they could of her skirt from beneath her coat. 

“I would love to,” she replied, grin in her voice.

* * *

For the rest of the night they danced and laughed in each other’s arms, kept warm by their movement and nearness. When midnight turned to morning, their voices were raw and tired and their breath was visible in the air like smoke. 

“Five?” Vanya murmured.

She leaned heavily into him while they sat on the floor of the greenhouse, head nestled in the crook of his shoulder. 

“Hmm?” he hummed tiredly.

The plants around them were brown and shriveled and the glass was dingy with dirt that had likely been there since before they were born, but Five felt like he had never been surrounded by anything more comforting. 

“Thanks.”

Silently, he wrapped his arm around Vanya and pulled her in closer, tugging up the blanket over their shoulders to keep them warm. Her hair was soft against his cheek when he pressed into her.

“Anytime.”

Closing his eyes, Five breathed in long and deep. He could still smell the shampoo in her hair, a clean scent with a hint of lilac. 

A lazy smile stretched across his face.

They weren’t dead yet.

No fire had taken them in the middle of the night. No alien invasions. No plague. 

But punishment would come.

Eventually.

For now though, Five simply kept his eyes closed and let the sound of Vanya’s breathing lull him into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reggie's gonna kill them u_u rip their poor souls
> 
> sorry this update is late!! idk when i'll have the next chapter finished though, so sorry again! hopefully you guys liked this one <3


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